So I guess this is the Halloween version....

I'm not a huge fan of the holiday, truth be told. I enjoy watching the kids and stuff, but I'm not one of these adults that gets REALLY into it. I'm not hating on it, I just don't really like the idea of being scared on purpose, or all these zombies, and clowns. What's with the clowns? With knives and bats? Don't these idiots have better things to be doing? I have enough problems in the middle of the night, being absolutely CONVINCED there is a murderer in the house. And I am tortured by the things that go bump in the night, thinking someone is coming for me and my whole family. All this while Tommy is in a near coma. This happens on a weekly to bi-weekly basis. This is why we cannot have a gun in the house. On one particular occasion, I had Tommy go check things out downstairs, and when he took too long (I swear he was gone like 2 full minutes, and I was calling for him with NO answer), I was convinced HE was killed, and I dialed 911, but then quickly hung up, remembering that I am a psycho, and it was probably nothing. This turned into a huge fiasco, as it was the middle of the night, in the dead of winter, but because I dialed 9-1-1, hit send, and then hung up, the police had to come out, and come into the house. And check on everyone upstairs. Including Patrick, who had woken up from the noise, went to go take a piss, and sees me, and a cop in the hallway. Mother-of-the-year. "Don't worry honey, everything is fine, this nice cop and his snow-filled-boots are just checking out the place, go back to bed". And Tommy, once he had returned from his reconnaissance mission, which apparently included stopping for a SNACK, (all while I'm upstairs thinking he's being maimed), threw his hands up in the air, and retreated to bed, once I told him I dialed 911 because he was taking too long, and I thought he was dead. Tommy was especially delighted when the cop shined his flashlight into our bedroom to check for signs of life. Tommy gave the thumbs up and the officer was on his way. Also, I definitely didn't have a bra on through this whole thing. So, this is enough of the scaring for me. But I don't want to be a killjoy, so I'll put my own neuroses aside (momentarily) and do this as festively as possible. 

What's to drink....

While I do not support clowns with knives, zombies, home intruders, and other scary stuff on Halloween, I do stand firmly with the idea of drinking on Halloween. This seems fitting for the occasion, and when I read the bottle says "mysterious and hauntingly seductive", I had a good laugh because it sounds more like a romance novel than a bottle of wine, but the giggle sold me, and I'm glad it did. Cheers!

Phantom - Cali Red by Bogle Vineyards

What's to eat AND Working on my things that relax me at the same time....

This is going to be a 2-for-1 kinda thing. I saw this recipe online and thought, "hey, I can do that". I don't bake much or make desserts. The baking thing makes me nervous because it's so specific or scientific, and if you miss one ingredient the whole thing is shot. This is too much pressure for me, as evidenced below. Anyway, upon making these cute little things I found that I really enjoyed painting the graham crackers with chocolate. It was very relaxing. "Oh", I thought to myself, "this is kinda soothing, yes, I like painting with the chocolate". Then I realized I have actually lost my mind. But, the kids loved them, and I'm OK fooling them into thinking I'm one of those crafty-baking-type Moms. My Mom, who bakes the hell out of stuff, is not so easily fooled. When she saw them, the convo went like this.

Mams: "What's the stick made out of, can you eat it?"
Me: (Thinking what in the hell, she's lost her mind, too) "It's wood, Ma, like a popsicle stick." 
Mams: (Looking doubtful or maybe disappointed) "Oh, a lot of people use pretzels and stuff for the stick, so you can eat that, too."

Apparently, I'm not fooling my Mom with this witchery of mine. She's less impressed than my kids, turning her nose up at my wood stick. I told her she could technically eat the stick, but it probably wouldn't taste very good. Anyway, here's my version, I opted for Halloween sprinkles instead of painting a monster face. I don't want to get ahead of myself.
So the moral of the story is, painting with chocolate is relaxing, so is laughing, which I did at myself, when I looked back at this recipe, and realized I forgot the coconut oil. Both times I made it. 

Ghetto version of Halloween S'mores Pops. Real version below.

http://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a49584/hocus-pocus-inspired-smores-pops-recipe/

Wishing you ALL of the Good Stuff.

XO

Tara 

P.S. Happy almost wedding day to my BIL, Timmy, and his soon-to-be-wife, Tiff. May your life together be filled with happiness, health, laughter, and a shit load of patience. 

Thank you so much....

For being so cool about my needing a week off last week. You guys are really the sweetest. I even had someone ACTUALLY deliver wine to me. Seriously, I'm the luckiest. So let's get back to this shit already.

What's to drink....

Let's be honest here, people. It's unseasonably warm in NJ, so we may as well take advantage of it, and get drunk make a refreshing cocktail before we are all freezing our fucking asses off. Winter is coming (no, I do not watch that dragon shit) so let's get our drink on, summer style while we still can. Cheers!

Tito's Vodka with Club Soda and Muddled Navel Oranges

(Isn't my witch the cutest?)

What's to eat....

This one needs a few disclaimers.

1. If you don't like spicy shit do not make and eat this.
2. If you suffer from any type of heartburn or reflux, this may actually kill you.
3. If you like spicy, it's fucking delicious.


Now that the legal matters are taken care of, I can also tell you this recipe is so stupid easy to make, which works out well for me, because I haven't been cooking much the last few weeks. Basically, Tommy has been coming home from work and there has been meat. And nothing else. "What's for dinner". Chicken. Literally. Either my husband is a good sport, or he's a smart enough man to know, when I'm not at my best, to keep his mouth shut about missing parts of meals. This dish must have been a pleasant surprise for him because there are actually some veggies in it. I know he would have been happier if I served it over rice. I would have stabbed him if he mentioned it. So, it worked out for us both. 

Cheesy Mexican Skillet (I only used 1/2 cup of cheese, Tommy didn't mention that either, again, still alive)

http://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a49021/cheesy-mexican-skillet-recipe/


Working on my "Divorce"....

Seems like a totally normal segue (I thought it was segway but that's that stupid machine for lazy fucking people who don't want to walk, who knew). Anyway, now that I have your attention, I don't mean my divorce, I mean the show "Divorce". I do wonder if Tommy's heart sunk a little when reading this. After all that stabbing talk and stuff he may have been relieved. Sorry dude, no papers for us this week. Everybody that's married knows to put the contingency statement in there because we all know things can go south REAL quick. You know what I'm talking about, everything seems easy breezy, and things are running as smoothly as things run when you're living with another animal human who doesn't have the same need to pick up socks as you, or the affinity to leave every light on in the house (me), and then SMACK, the smack being the actual shit hitting the fan, and the everything was running so (pretty much) smoothly is squashed to total, utter, shit. You know you've been there. Like, wow, that was a fast decline into the depths of hell. You're not alone, people. This show isn't exactly like that but it had me hooked at SJP secretly throwing up a middle finger at her husband after a particularly funny interaction. I love the middle finger. I don't recommend it's use in marriage, but I won't lie and say I'm not guilty of the occasional behind-the-back-finger-flip-off. I think I'm going to start using it more openly, I think we all should. Nothing like saying "go fuck yourself" without actually SAYING "go fuck yourself". It's brilliant. Double finger, even better. GFY X 2. Love it and love the show. Check it out. 

Wishing you ALL the Good Stuff. 

XO
Tara

P.S.  I was reminded again today, by the universe, that progress is not linear. This reminder came in the form of my 3 year-old being asked to leave school early, after she scratched two kids, and punched another. On a positive note, I think I can be assured that picking her up is going to be the most mortifying part of my day, but then again, one never knows. One day at a time, breathe in, breathe out, God grant me the serenity, wine, repeat. 

To my dearest 6 (this might be a stretch) followers, 

I regret to inform you that we will be taking a break from our regularly scheduled program. I hope this break is only for this week, but I'm not making any promises. You see, my 6(ish) followers, I have written 23 weeks in a row, and while I know nobody really gives a flying fuck if I write or not, I felt it necessary to explain. I need a break this week, and I hope you'll forgive me, but I don't blame you if you don't. I plan on berating the shit out of myself over it. I'm kidding. Kinda. 

The truth is, I have misplaced my "funny". I hope just temporarily. I am sure it will return at some point, but it has seemed to have left the building for the time being. I can assure you that I am actively looking for it, in everything, and when I do find it, you will be the first to know. I am sure it is going to turn up soon. It fucking better. 

In the meantime, eat and drink all the good stuff. And....


Wishing you ALL of the Good Stuff. 


XO
Tara

A little late to the game this week....

A girl has got to work, and by working this morning, I mean dividing my time between being a nurse, and worrying about writing my blog. I had so much anxiety about being late to publish this bullshit. Apparently, I still need to work on being a little less rigid, and I need to be reminded that nobody really gives a flying fuck. See, I feel better already. 


What's to drink....

Pink bubbles??? Don't mind if I do. I'm going to stand by my advocacy for the case of champagne and sparkling wine being perfectly suitable for every day drinking. I mean, maybe not every single day, but as far as I can tell we don't NEED a reason to celebrate. Life can be tough, and there will be weeks it will feel like life has kicked you in the tits. This will make you feel better. Nurse's orders. Cheers.

Chandon Rosé - Cali

What's to eat....
Apparently there is some big debate between the chili connoissuers of the world about whether or not beans belong in chili. You do whatever you like, but I'm not giving the 3 people I live with, who all happen to be big fans of passing gas, any more ammunition, so to speak. I have high hopes that the GIRL will grow out of this phase. I have no such hope for the other 2 animals. Farts are gross. This chili is good. 

Smokin' Scoville's Turkey Chili (sans habenero, hot chocolate (WTF), and beans)

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/84760/smokin-scovilles-turkey-chili/

Working on my new laws of Facebook....

I love social media, but Facebook has been really pissing me off lately. If I were Mark Zuck these would be the new laws of the land.

1. Cut the shit with the political posts. Our impending reality is bad enough and I don't need constant reminders of that fact. Don't you people know, Facebook is not for real life.

2. Professions of true, tender, sweet, undying love need not apply. I'm either going to choke on my own vomit or jump off my roof. Potentially both. At the same time. Stop it, or prepare to die. 

3. Vague-booking. "Something good is happening" or "Something bad is happening". Either way, I ain't biting. 

4. Crazy anti-vaccination nut bags. It's your choice (and we can agree to disagree) but please don't push your agenda and your pertussis onto me and my kids. 

5. Constant complaining/airing of dirty laundry/passive-aggressive jabs. This kinda shit is on a whole other level of fucked up. Cut it out, we are all rolling our eyes at you, AND we think you're a lunatic. 

This is just my top 5. Please people, post your pics, your favorite recipes, your blog that 6 people read, but for the love of all that is good and holy, cut that other shit out. 

Wishing you ALL of the Good Stuff.

XO
Tara

PS - You know I'm kidding about the Facebook laws. Sorta.